Sept. 6 - Oct 13, 2013

Ni Ni, Ni, Ni, Ni Ni, Ni, Ni, Ni Ni, Ni, Ni 



If you made it to this page, CONGRATULATIONS. You probably are one of the seven people we expect to read this stuff so here goes, let’s hope you make it to the bottom of this tedious wonderful description ……

Are you familiar with the show and know whom (yeah we’re so grammatically correct) the Knights Who Say Ni! are? Good. We thought so. But if you don’t have any bloody idea what we’re talking about, go to Wikipedia and then come back here. We’ll wait..

If you do know, (we thought you might) here’s where your Knights of Ni offering for a mere $100 begins.

This is a fun opportunity to become a contributor to Lakewood Theatre Company and receive a few worthless highly valuable bonuses too!  

We are holding some premier seating on certain nights (actually it’s on any night but we thought the former sounded more impressive) and also 2 complimentary glasses of wine, an autographed copy of the program, and some other special surprises. (That means it could be a fun grab bag of stuff!)

Sorry to say, this honorary opportunity to shamelessly give us money does NOT include anything involving getting onstage! However, as compensation, we promise to write your name on a dry erase board in the lobby so all your friends can be awed by your derangement magnificence.

The value of all this is over $50.00 (actually it's $50). The lawyers of Dewey Cheatem & Howe inform us that $50.00 can be claimed as a tax-deductible donation. (An amazing value don't you think?)

No seriously, this is a fun way to become a contributor to the theatre! Now, on to the important stuff -- what’s in it for us, YOU:


Become An Honorary Knight of Ni for a Night!

Find your Grail with this irresistibly tall package
Just $100.00 per person.
(We started at $1,000 but cooler heads prevailed - what do you expect for an honorary position)

The Benefits Include:
(We had to think of something to snare reward you!)

One of the best seats in the house at the performance of your choice
    (At least we promise you’ll most likely be in the theatre)

Your program autographed by all 8 Principal Actors + Director Alan Shearman
(We know you probably wanted just the actors but the director insisted after he heard what we’re doing)

Complimentary pre-show drink
(No mead but you can have your choice of wine, beer or something non-alcoholic – however, everyone in the box office who has seen rehearsals highly recommends you stick with the alcohol)

Complimentary Intermission drink
(See above. Also it’s a great time to get your “Ni on!)

A pair of Coconut halves to make horse clip-clops (instructions included)
(Hope you don’t mind if they’re slightly used)

$50.00 Tax Deductible Charity Donation Receipt
(Now here’s something that might have some real value! You actually are supporting a 501 (c)(3) non-profit organization! We’ll even give you an official missive declaring it’s so!)

Surprise Mystery Items that you didn’t know you Ni-ded

Item #1 – Sorry, cannot be spoken by the Knights who say, “Ni!”
Item #2 – Sorry, cannot be spoken by the Knights who say, “Ni !”
Item #3 – Sorry, cannot be spoken by the Knights who say, “Ni!”
(Guess you’ll have to come to the box office to claim
 these “valuable” items on night of show.)

Only a limited number of seats available for each performance
(We hope!)

(Please! Our jobs depend on it!)

Legal stuff: Not available when performance is already sold out. (Duh!)

Official disclaimer (a statement that denies responsibility):

  • No animals were harmed in the production of this message.
  • Everything edible is gluten free and everything written on this screen is recyclable. (We’re doing our part).
  • All donors are advised to conduct their own independent research into the folly of theatre sponsorships before making a purchase decision.
  • In addition, donors are advised that past performance is no guarantee of future appreciation (just ask your last date).
  • If in the event all seats are sold, we (that means us and not you) are going out for beer and all the above stuff is not available. So sorry, but you probably Ni that!


Performances of Lakewood's production of Monty Python's SPAMALOT

September 6 - October 13, 2013
Thursdays - Saturdays at 7:30 PM
Sunday Matinees at 2 PM (Sept. 15, 29, 6, 13)
Sundays at 7 PM (Sept. 8, 15, 22)
Wednesday, Oct. 2 at 7:30 PM

CLICK HERE to buy this ridiculously valuable offering on our online ticket page. (Let's see if you can now find the price category on the drop down menu! Good luck.) If all else fails, call our box office at 503-635-3901 and our minions will serve your every need!

Please note: you are responsible for your own costume and deportment. 


The Knights Gallery:

Tom & Krista Tower - Kinights Who Say Ni at Lakewood Theatre CompanyTom & Krista Tower, September 15, 2013